Deep breath... ahhhh

What is it about a deep deep breath that calms the nerves just a bit, slows the pulse, and ahhhh makes you attempt to see things in a different light? You ever notice, right before you finally fall asleep.. you take a big deep breath.. then off to wonderland.
When I am in a photo shoot, before I start.. deeeep breath... ahhhh. Now I am ready to shoot! I feel that I am a very good people reader and can tell when a model is feeling a little uncomfortable with the photo shoot. Usually at the beginning... so I say, take a deep breath, wiggle the shoulders and loooosen up!!! After that we get awesome shots!!
So as I write this, I am trying very hard for that deep breath tonite but for a reason unknown, I feel as if I am suffocating. I just can't take that deep breath I talk so much about. I can't quite explain it any better than that. Maybe I am in need of a personal vacation? I love my family. My husband and two boys.. more than anything in this world. As big as the sun and the moon and the sky is what Zane says. But somedays, it's just all too much. Maybe I expect too much from myself? I'm sure that's it. I bring all this on myself. To be the perfect wife and mother. To be the best I can be at my job. To please everyone, everyday I can. To have perfect children... one's that actually listen. To be the very best possible friend to the wonderful people I have in my life. To have the cleanest house. To do this, to do that. I expect a lot from myself and feel as if I fail everyday.
I once wrote this quote.. there is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one. Words to live by, but I just can't seem to take my own advice. Is it being a woman that makes me this way? My husband does not feel this way. He expects much of himself but the way he handles it amazes me. I admire the way he deals with things.. well, most of the time :) Me, the hormonal woman, just cries, or shuts down with the irritation scale on high.
I need to stop... to take a deep breath.... Ahhh... deep breath.. ahhhh.. deep breath...
I feel a little better, but still have so much on my mind tonite..