Ten years ago, I was engaged, betrayed, broken, I lost a few friends, & gained a new love (well, 2 new loves). It was a year of broken promises. It was the end of me as I knew it, the beginning of what would become an amazing life.
The proposal-Valentines Day. The ring was gorgeous, it promised me a nice life, with nice things. Was it possible for me to exchange my needs, myself, my soul? With him, I was empty. He had changed, he promised he had changed. I said yes, only to go down that same road with him as I had so many other drunken nights. A ring didn't change his cheating or abusive ways. Lesson learned. Finally.
Summer-I moved into a new house with my best friend. With my engagement now off, and her recent separation from a boyfriend, we were ready to have some fun!! Those were the nights I can't remember, & friends I'll never forget.
Kelly and I had some pretty amazing times in our little house. Met a lot of new people, made a lot of friends. Our friendship had grown stronger than it had ever been. You see, Kelly and I have a lot of history. We were roommates before, we leaned on each other thru everything- boy problems, money problems, parent problems, you name it. I was her rock, she was mine. Yes, we fought. We had disagreements. We were honest with each other and worked it out. I could not imagine her not being in my life. I always thought when I had children, she would be "Aunt" Kelly. She was my very BEST friend. Ever.
Little did I know, my best friend ever, would break my heart into a million pieces...
Then, there was this guy. He lived across the street from my mom and Kraige. He was cute, drove a nice truck and always had dry cleaning on Fridays. Yes, I was.. let's just say.. observant. He had a sticker on his back window that said "show me your boobies"- seriously? What kind of over confident, asshole puts a sticker like that on his truck? Anyway, my mom kept mentioning that he was a nice guy, despite the sticker, and asked me if I minded that she gave him my phone numbers. I figured, what the hell... Little did I know, that guy.. with the repulsive sticker.. would be the love of my life. After our first date, we couldn't get enough of each other. He was pretty amazing. I still needed "approval" from Kelly. She loved him, thought he was one of those guys that every girl wants. More than a lover.
The End- of the year, of a friendship, of me as I knew it.
My life was turned upside down. It's December and "I'm late" Yes, girls, we all know what that means. This guy, the one that I speak of being so great? Well he proved himself that day. He showed me how much he did love me, that there are good guys out there.
Coming from a broken, more like fractured home life, that was the last thing I wanted to bring a child into. This baby would have stability. A home, one home. Justin and I decided that we would move in together. Either my house until the lease was up, or find another place. It was all up to Kelly- what she needed, if she had another roommate, if she could afford it alone. She didn't quite take it as I had hoped. Again, knowing her past, I thought she would be proud of our decision to create a "normal" home environment for our baby, I thought she would congratulate me. She yelled. "Biggest mistake you've ever made" "He'll leave you and the baby" ... on and on. She yelled the meanest, most hurtful things I've ever heard come out of someones mouth. It was hate I saw in her that day. My best friend- she hated me for my decision to put my baby first. Hate. It's pretty powerful.
So, there I was. She broke my heart that day. Changed the locks MY house and we never spoke again. That's how my very best friend ever, tore me down to nothing.
In the end, she was wrong. He didn't leave me. He loved me- loves me still. I was strong enough to finally stand up for what I believed was the right thing to do for myself and this new life I was bringing into the world. Through all that, the loss, the heartbreak, the hurt- I had risen above. I found a man that loved me with all his heart. He's the best father and husband and with all the hurt, I wouldn't change a thing.
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